M4DE XD

MADE FASTER & STRONGER BY DAN COSSINS

M4DE XD

MADE FASTER & STRONGER BY DAN COSSINS

M4DE XD

MADE FASTER & STRONGER BY DAN COSSINS

M4DE XD

MADE FASTER & STRONGER BY DAN COSSINS

M4DE XD

MADE FASTER & STRONGER BY DAN COSSINS

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retreat days 1 and 2

retreat days 1 and 2
I arrived on the Thursday evening. The house was tucked away on the edge of a steep hill, which ran down from a golf course. As I walked up the stairs i noticed a statue of the Buddha and I couldn't help feeling like I was in a dream..............
I met Ged and Jessie on arrival, two of the therapists running the retreat. They immediately served me with a tea of hazelnut milk, turmeric and ginger. The sharp taste woke me up. Other participants flowed in and we awkwardly greeted each other. I wondered if they knew I was in a bad way. Or if they had bigger problems than me. 
 
We ate a dinner of bread made from nuts and seeds and a green soup that didn't even need to taste good coz you're body just knows it's good (it did taste good though) 
 
Ged lead a mediation in the evening designed to get us in touch with our old selves and the new selves we would breath in, in the form of light. 
 
I returned to my yert exhausted from the emotional day, but knew it wouldn't be anything compared to the first full day of therapy. 
 
I woke at 6am for yoga with Jessie. It was gentle, but designed to get us in touch with our breathing at the start of the day and ready for the intense sessions we would undertake that day 
 
We ate a large breakfast of the nut bread with eggs and avocado sprinkled with paprika. We drank beetroot (yes, it's good for you boys. Disclaimer- the previous statement is not intended to draw attention to any sexual element of the male erection, simply that beetroot may have an effect on that important function from a health point of view and this is the opinion only of Dan Cossins and has no relevance to any governing body including wada and the iaaf, but if Seb Coe I'd offended, I'll apologise)  and ginger juices followed by green juice. 
 
At 12,30 I saw ged. Before he came in I could feel my spine vibrating. It knew it was in for a ride in the next hour. He's a cranial osteopath and 5 element acupuncturist. After briefly asking me why I was there (deep insecurity stemming from early connections with mum) he started working. Lightly cradling my spine at either end and from the side. I felt at immediate ease. I could feel something leaving my spine and going out through his hands. He put needles in my chest and feet. And left them for about 10 minutes. He asked me "did you raise yourself?" I explained I never felt that my way matched anyone else's so I taught myself how to live. He explained that my mum had done her best, and that raising myself had created the man I am. So my mum had done the right thing by me, and I was to forgive her, and accept her love, in what ever form it appears. A feeling of great self worth came over me. I have survived. What am I complaining about?
 
I felt immediately exhausted and over the next few hours. I started to feel more and more depressed. They told me this was usual as you break down the version of yourself that you have always known. 
 
After a healthy lunch of soup we met andra, a kundalini yoga teacher. She explained that the yoga will open up the 7 chakras and allow space to make changes to ourselves. 
 
We chanted and rocked and waved our arms in a pattern for minutes and minutes. It burnt. At a certain point, you forget it, and you go into yourself. When you're in there you see things that you have to confront and then come to peace with. During the meditation I had some important realisations about my recent ex girlfriends. The process brought me to tears and I came out feeling shell shocked 
 
At dinner I couldn't even talk. And eating was a struggle. We had one more thing to complete, a healing circle, which was designed to heal all the pain we unearthed in the day. 
 
We sat in a circle in the yert and held hands. We chanted "onggggggggg" (it was around this time I laughed to myself at the thought of the skinhead thug Dan from 5 years ago, and what he'd say if he saw this long haired hippy chanting in a tent) 
 
During the intense process I was overcome with emotion. A lady named Penelope lay in the circle, and at this time I started to see my mother. In my mind I hugged her, and felt intense love for her that I'd never felt before. She said she forgave me, and I said the same. As I breathed out The vision of her faded into nothing. At this point I had similar experiences with my two ex girlfriends. 
 
I cried and noticed other cry around me. There was no judgement. Only love and a powerful intention of 12 people and their instructor to heal themselves, each other and all the people we love in the world. 
 
You may think this is bonkers, but in a world of war, greed for money and endless distasteful human habits and attitudes, isn't it simply beautiful that people think they can heal each other through the power of love and forgiveness
 
I might say "namaste" tomorrow if you read part 3!

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